January 15th, Some writing

Hey everyone! It’s been a few days since I have written.  I have been a bit busy.  The wedding was really nice.  I had a ton of fun dancing, although it was probably not the best idea to be drinking wine and then flinging myself around wildly.  That was a bit rough.  It was really nice seeing some of my old friends that I don’t see that often anymore.

Saturday I did some sleeping and then Josh and I went out to eat for my birthday.  An early celebration since he will not be in town on my actual birthday. It was really nice.  I really don’t like how so many people nowadays act like they do not care about birthdays or that they hate birthdays.  It has almost become a trend.  I can understand the fear of getting older.  But why not celebrate being alive another year.  Celebrate being healthy and all the things that you got to experience in the year that has passed.  I feel like it is more about celebrating the life you are so lucky to be living.  That you have made it this far.  It does not have to be a self-centered celebration, but rather a grateful celebration of how lucky you are to be alive.  That is something worth celebrating.

I know I am lucky to have made it this far in my life.  We all have things we have overcome, times we have felt like we couldn’t or didn’t want to go on, difficult feats.  But you are here now.  You are alive and you are in control of what you make of your life.  Some of us maybe have to try harder than others, some of us are lucky enough to have been born into a decent life, with a decent family.  That’s more than many people can say.

I see my birthday as a time when I can look back on my life, and the things I have overcome that were difficult for me.  I can be proud of getting this far, and reflect on how I have changed.  So why not celebrate with people that you love?  Anyways, my birthday is not until next week.  I will be 28.  Which does feel old, to me.  Only because it is the oldest I have ever been, haha.  And sometimes I cannot help but compare where I am in my life, to where others my age are in their lives.  Which I know is not a good thing to do, sometimes though, it is difficult for it not to cross my mind…and give me a sense of impending doom.  I try to remind myself that people have had different experiences and different obstacles.  Mine have delayed me.  But that is okay, because I have still come a long way.  While I do not have some things on course, I do have others. I am grateful for everything I have in my life, including the people.  I am lucky to have a warm bed, plenty of food, a home to live in, money to pursue my hobbies.

Anyways, that’s enough about birthdays.   I am working on writing a story, so I might post some of that later.  I am trying to get back into writing more.  I have always loved writing, even more-so than photography.  I have just been struggling to reach back into my imagination.  But you just have to force yourself to do it.  Start small and you’ll get there.  Anyways, I’ll post more later. I decided with each post I am going to include a picture of mine.  Just a random one. Talk more later!

Photo of Tammy Knowles in Floral Fantasy Series.

Tammy edit 1

 

 

January 11th, 2018. Nothing for Nothings

I have nothing to really say today.  I worked all day, went to the chiropractor, and spoke to someone about doing a photo job for them.  I have been sick so things haven’t been too eventful.  I am currently with Josh and he  is a pain in the butt and takes forever dawdling around on the computer.  I am sitting here waiting for him so I thought to write in here really quick.  Today was a more difficult day, health-wise and a bit mood-wise.  But I am really looking forward to tomorrow.  I am going to be taking photos for a childhood friend.  Tomorrow is her wedding day.  So I will be taking photos of her getting ready and whatnot, and then head to the wedding.  It should be a good time.  Anyways Josh is getting mad at me because he’s stuck waiting for me now, haha.  Goodnight everyone!

January 9th, 2018. Under the Weather

Today I don’t really have too much to say.  I am getting sick again.  I have been sick so much.  2017 was a tough year sickness-wise.  I had strep something in the teens..13 times maybe?  Within the year.  Even after I had my tonsils out I have still been getting bouts.  I just got over being sick,  and I am sick again.  Hopefully it will pass quickly this time.  Despite not feeling well it was still a good day.  You really need to make every day count.  Our time here on Earth really is not all that long when it comes down to it.  And you never really know how much time you are going to have.  Keeping that in the back of my mind helps me to put as much as I can into each day.  Even the difficult ones.

Recently I have skimmed through some random things I have seen on depression.  Sometimes they just pop up on facebook or online.  I know very well how difficult depression is, but it is sad to see that there are so many people that feel like it is out of their control.  I say this because I have felt that way so many times, and I think I used it as an excuse not to put my very all into getting better.  I should re-phrase that though.  With depression there is no “getting better”.  It is more-so learning better ways to cope and training your mind how to react/deal with situations.  It is extremely challenging, and takes a lot of work.  I can understand why people with depression feel the way that they do though.  When you have depression you do feel hopeless and like there is no getting better.  Plus depression makes you lose your motivation and your sense of purpose, which makes it less likely for people to go through the very difficult and time consuming process of learning how to deal better.  I do not know that anyone is really reading this, but if you are someone reading this that has depression, just know that you do have that bit of strength in you.   I have been clinging to that bit of strength all these years, and using it to push me through each day.  And trust me, there have been many many days where that bit of strength was nowhere in sight.  But it is always there, whether it is hiding or clear to you, it is there.  In order to live with something like depression, you have strength.  And that is what you need to focus on.  It is not impossible to live a good life with depression.  It just takes a lot of hard and constant work.  There will always be bad days, and it may always be there, but you can have control. You do not have to feel powerless, you have a say.

Anyways, that’s just my bit of a talk.  I did edit one photo today.  It is pretty much the same as the others because it is from the same shoot.  But it was fun to edit.  I am slowly learning more in photoshop.  There is just so much it is overwhelming.  My work obviously still looks a little junky, but I am getting there.  It takes a ton of practice to get some of these techniques perfect.  It is very time consuming. But hey you gotta start somewhere.  Anyways, I need some early sleep tonight.  Goodnight everyone!- I also just realized I started out by saying I do not have too much to say today and wrote like half a page. Seems about right. IMG_8069-Edit

January 8th, Photos and Whatnot

Hey everyone!  So as I had promised, I am going to have more to share today than just my name.  My day was not entirely exciting.  I got my emissions tested, figured out some health insurance garbage, did some photos, and kind of dyed my hair.  The first photo is how I start most of my days.  Some of you may know that I have had depression for a very long time, so my medications start off my day.  Today was not one of the more difficult days, which I was very thankful for.

I got up, yeah I know, not too thrilling haha.  I thought I would also share some photos of the Prairie Light Review.  My community college has a small art magazine that they put out I believe twice a year.  Students are allowed to submit photos to be chosen for the magazine.  I do not usually submit any of my work but I decided to give it a go, and they actually put three of my images in.  It is a small thing, but it was still nice to see my images on a page.  It is something small that I was proud of the past year.   My friend Bryan also had a really neat photo put into the magazine, I was going to post it but was not too sure how he would feel about that haha (it is a really cool photo of spiders on a web).

Then I got bundled up to go get my emissions tested. When I came home I gave this semi-permanent dye a try (Arctic Fox).  It has really good reviews and is apparently 100% vegan.  So it’s not bad for your hair? I guess?  I don’t know, the word vegan just kind of annoys me. The color is periwinkle, but since I just put it over my natural hair color it is kind of hard to notice.  So I just did not take an after photo.  It smells interesting though.  Like grape sweet tarts or something.  Which, eh. I do not know if I like that.

The last photo is from some of the photos that I took earlier today.  I have not had much time to edit them, so I have only gotten to that one so far.  There will be more to come.  I still feel really weird writing in here and do not really know how to go about writing.  Today I kind of just gave an order of how I do things, but some days I like to write more.  So we will see where this goes I guess.  Goodnight everyone!

26735254_10156879111188906_1085269939_o26694286_10156879111078906_1164578405_n26754614_10156879110408906_1521059182_n26753933_10156879111048906_2022450367_n26648685_10156879110298906_129248811_n26754180_10156879110303906_1138850024_n26754598_10156879109798906_1236955978_n26755398_10156879106848906_1014943662_nIMG_8114-Edit

I MADE A BLOG

I have been wanting to create a blog for a while now, so here it is!  Hello everyone.  Chances are if you are reading this you already know me, but just in case you do not, my name is Mary.

I love to create things…photographs, stories, paintings, etc.  So I wanted a place where I could share all of it, as well as write about my day to day life.  Which honestly is not all that intriguing, but that part is mostly for my own benefit.  I do not really know how you’re supposed to begin these things…so I thought an introduction was appropriate?  I don’t know guys, I don’t know.  I am not really in the know when it comes to these sorts of things.

I think I will just start by sharing some of what I think were my better photographs from this last semester (I am currently going to college for photography).  I will write more tomorrow!  Maybe something more interesting than my name is Mary. 🙂